Follow by Email

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Love Language!

How do you say I Love You? There are many ways, and each person has theirs. I have found after almost 37 years of marriage, that what the world sees as love is so different than God's view. When couples first meet and fall in love, they can't stop thinking about each other. They want to always be together, and not much else matters. At that stage of love, the language is probably more lust than love.

That is normal, however, hopefully that changes to something deeper and more Christ-like. What I mean by that is following Christ's look at love in 1 Corinthians 13. As we walk through the journey of love, we learn in our youth, sadly by trial and error! We are often selfish by nature, wanting what pleases us. That love language will most likely kill a relationship.

Love ideally is kind, does not envy, is not puffed up. Love does not think evil, does not seek it's own, does not provoke. Love never fails! Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things! When you are truly in love, forever, you will put the other person before yourself. Their comfort, their needs, their wants will matter more than your own.

Since none of us are perfect, this can be hard to do. It's about respecting who they are, loving them in spite of flaws, and remembering you have flaws too. As two people learn about each other, share good times, and bad, they begin to know their partner intimately. That means you know what they like, and you supply that when you can. You do not go out of your way to belittle them, or make them unhappy. You should be best friends! Best friends have each other's backs. They are there no matter what. They stand up for you when the world would beat you down. 

Love languages may be taking out the trash, help with the chores, or putting gas in your spouses car. It isn't all Valentine's Day romance, it is real life, every day, stuff. When my husband carries the dishes from the dining room to the kitchen after dinner, that says, "I love you." When he is working in the garage, and I take him a cup of coffee, that says, "I love you."  

It doesn't matter what it is, or how big or small, it is going out of your way to do for the other person. It is not just  about sex, it is the hugs, and held hands, and snuggling in between that say love. When I come home from work, and find my husband has a candle lit bubble bath waiting for me, and dinner started, that says love.  He worked too, and could have sat down and relaxed, but he thought of me. Too many think married love is 50/50. It is not. Married love is 100/100%. Saying I Love You is nice, but doing I Love You is better for me. 

Never be afraid to compliment your partner, build them up, and encourage them. If you always say I love you, but never show it with little things, it doesn't mean much. Anyone can say words, or even buy gifts, but selflessly doing things to brighten their day says so much more! Don't stay mad. Say you are sorry. Ask for forgiveness. Always be willing to forgive. Choose your battles carefully, and don't go to bed angry.  Those are all love languages. We each have one! Let your Valentine experience your love in your own special way!  I am more in love with my husband today than on the day I said, "I do." He is my Valentine every day of the year!