Carolyn McBreen Gibbs Blog: I Wish People Were More Like Dogs!

Carolyn McBreen Gibbs Blog: I Wish People Were More Like Dogs!: People would be wise to look to our dogs for examples to follow. Dogs are basically happy with very little. Some food, whatever is offered, ...

I Wish People Were More Like Dogs!

People would be wise to look to our dogs for examples to follow. Dogs are basically happy with very little. Some food, whatever is offered, a few toys, a kind word, and a pat on the head, will make them wiggle all over. Dogs love their people no matter what. It is unconditional love, a love that says, "you are mine. I'm not ever going to leave you!" Sound familiar? It should, because that is exactly how our Father, God loves us! That is a good lesson from our dogs!  The gratitude they have for what they have is big lesson number two! Molly, our young Fox Terrier is just happy to be with us. She doesn't care how we dress, if we comb our hair, or if we are perfect. To her, we are part of her pack, just as we are. When she came to us as a gift from God to heal our hearts after Samson died at 17 ( also a Fox Terrier),

she didn't know what we were like, or if we would treat her kindly. Still she came into our home and joyfully gave us her love! We could learn that lesson too. Whoever God puts in our life, we need to embrace them no matter what they look like, and even if we don't know if they will hurt us.

That huge lesson, is trust! The same trust we know if we are part of Jesus' pack. We come to Him, just as we are. He does not care what we look like, as long as our heart is in good condition. We become His through trusting that what His word says is true! We trust He loves us, and will do us no harm, and just as Molly joyfully came to us, we should joyfully come to Jesus. Molly has been with us for five months, and now that she knows us, she has learned that her initial trust was reliable. She knows when we say no, it is to protect her, or keep her from trouble. She knows when we leave, we will come back, and she knows we will never hurt her, or starve her, or abandon her. She suffered a lot of anxiety at first, if we left her. She scratched at the door, and cried, and whined. But over the months, of always coming back, she knew we would return. She still doesn't like it, but she has learned to be secure in our love.

Doesn't Abba, Father do the same for us. He will tell us no for our own good. He will teach us to know Him, so that we know He will never harm us. We know through being close to Him that He loves us, and will protect us. We know that He did leave earth, stays in our hearts, and will return one day! When I have drifted off the path, and Jesus gently turns me around, I know that joyful, puppy gratitude that Molly feels when we come home. She wiggles all over, she whimpers in shear joy, and it is obvious all is back as it should be! I love that. I also love that restoration with my Savior, when I have sinned, and have been forgiven! I can't wiggle all over, but I can show my joy in praise and thanksgiving to show Jesus that all is back as it should be!

Molly has learned about us from spending time with us, learning our ways, and having a consistent set of rules. She knows when it is time to go outside, she knows that a single raised finger means stop! She knows when it is time to sleep, and that a lap is about the best place to take a rest! We learn from God by spending time in His presence. We get to know Him, we learn to love Him, and we learn His rules. We do that by spending time in prayer, just talking to Him. We read His word, because that tells us His rules, His character, and His consistency. Each day brings Molly closer to us. We learn what she likes and doesn't like. She learns our rules, and just how much she is loved. Each day with Jesus does the same thing for me. I learn every day, and I love Him a little more each day!

God designed dogs to be a best friend to their humans! I don't know how He did that, or at what point we figured that out, but I do know that if we let our fur friends, our dogs,into our lives, it is a lifetime commitment of love, trust, and devotion. Our Samson lived to 17, and the last year, he got more feeble, more dependent, and required more care. I was blessed to take care of him, and he hung on as long as he could, to delay our sadness. He quietly stayed by our side. If he had pain, he never showed it. The last few weeks his eyes were fading more, his legs didn't work too well, and his eyes were tired and sad. As our best friend, we knew it was time to say goodbye. He gave us love and loyalty, and made us feel better when we were sad. God designed him that way, and now He has given us Molly! That is a lesson too! God gives us a life long commitment of loving us, being beside us when we are sad, and being loyal to us. He is our Best Friend Forever! Besides.....dog is God spelled backwards!

Bullies Are Victims Too

Bullying has become more prevalent and it is never acceptable. Yet if we can look past the bully behavior, perhaps we can see a scared, sad, child, or adult that desperately needs love. Not an easy concept is it? Most often our human side, wants revenge, or punishment for their actions. While they do need to face consequences, what makes a bully bully others? Experts have said, bullies may witness bullying at home, they have not been taught to control anger or aggression. They may experience no warmth or involvement from parents, and have overly permissive parents. Some may be bullied by older siblings, suffer harsh discipline, or have friends who bully. Bullies are usually physically strong, have no empathy, and use bullying others to build themselves up. It is used to enhance their social status and power, and sometimes the bully desperately needs attention. It can become more rampant if schools, authorities, and parents don't address the situation.

Bullying can include teasing that becomes mean spirited, spreading rumors, or attacking another. It can happen anywhere. Again if we look to the bully, we may see someone who has little success themselves. They are crying out. Please do not think I am on the side of the bully, but because I try to see others as God sees them, I just think these children are crying out for something lacking in their lives, and in their hearts. Some may think it's cool, but we need to look deeper to see what is needed to turn them around. Sometimes we adults simply do no give them the skills they need, or the attention they need to handle life. If bullying is a learned behavior, then that behavior can also be unlearned. 

I don't know if you had a bully in your life, or if you were a bully, I was both. In the 1950s as a 6th grader, we thought we were "hot stuff" and we acted like it. This was a time when 6th grade was like the seniors of the school. Next year was Junior High, and back to the low end of the status scale. We were in a new school, and only 5th and 6th grades were in the school until the next year. I look back on we girls, and realize how awful we were. Our bullying centered on 10 girls against one. She was not quite as affluent as our families(or so we thought). Her Dad was a clerk in a store. Our Dad's were in business, lawyers, doctors, and somehow we thought that made a difference. She didn't always dress as nice, and we convinced ourselves, we just didn't like her. We had none of the obvious things in our lives that would make a bully, so I shudder to think what we would have been like if our parents ignored us.

Our parents were involved in our life, we didn't have mean parents, and we did have to follow the rules. 

We did, however, think very highly of ourselves. We had no empathy for the victim at all. Our bullying was verbal, hurtful, and very wrong, but we never thought of physically hurting this girl. In a weird way we thought it made us superior, when in reality we probably were very insecure. While we teased, made fun of, and excluded her from our group, we never considered that it had to hurt her. She was different, and we thought we were cool. Fast forward 50 years or more, bullying takes on a whole new dimension. Interestingly, there were brief times in that year, that we befriended this girl, and turned on one of the other girls. I too took my turn at being teased, hearing hurtful words, and being ignored and left out of the group. I think that was a good thing, because I learned really quick how hurtful it was.

What can we do to help our children and youth through this maze of meanness? First of all, never ignore the behavior. Pay attention to your children. Talk to them, teach empathy for others, but also listen to them. Make consequences consistent and fair, make expectations very clear, and teach by example. If you have ever suffered at the mouth of others, you know if scars, and hurts, and the hate from it destroys. One major point I want to make is that teaching must also include Jesus. If Jesus fills a heart, hate will not be as successful. If a heart is brought into the obedience of Christ, the body will cheerfully obey His commands. It is my love for Christ, and my personal relationship with Him, that allows me to see the other side of the bully. It is not always easy to do, because the human in me wants to see the bully get what's due him or her. I need to pray for the bullies in our schools, and in our world as much as I do for the victims. In a bully situation, or a lost soul situation, only satan wins. We need more than ever to

protect our children whether they bully or are bullied, and only Jesus can be the ultimate example.

The Lost Can Be Found!

Unless you live in a deep, dark, cave in remote America, you see our country struggling with morality, violence, disrespect, and a new normal. Everyone seems to want what they want, no matter the cost, no matter who is hurt. Our world is steeped in selfishness and in disregard for what is right. If it feels good, or if it makes me look good and have power over others, it is right. As a result those new normals as the world goes, drift down to our children. If these are their examples, then that is how they will deal with their world. When something or someone gets in the way, people will fight for their rights. If violence, injustice, rage, and disrespect is what they know, that is what they will use. Before I came to know Jesus as my Savior, I was terrible to others. It didn't matter if they were in a car messing up my schedule, or a clerk or waitress that wasn't perfect like me. I reacted with unjust rage, nasty words, and the worst bad attitude you have ever seen. If you messed up my day, my time, my plan, you were going to be run over by my nasty temper! I honestly do not know how I had any friends, much less a wonderful man, John, who wanted to marry me.

Unfortunately, we pass this on to the next generation, and then the next. As satan blinds us to these actions as being wrong, the more we become desensitized to our behavior. The behavior then increases in frequency and intensity. That is where our world is today. People want total power, total control, and if they can't have it, they will do whatever they have to to get their way. Our society has become so prideful they see no fault in themselves. It is much easier to blame someone else or something else for our action. That lets us off the hook. When I was so mean to others, I blamed my mother, because she was like that, and It wasn't my fault they messed up my day and valuable time. How silly that sounds.

We humans do not automatically come with patience, kindness, respect, and humility. It has to be learned and passed from generation to generation. Now out of all this, I have been shown frequently by God lately, that those in our country, our world, our cities that are so angry, so disrespectful, and so mean spirited, simply are lost. They are living like I did, before Jesus came into my heart and life, and changed me. I look back, and I can still feel those feelings that were so miserable, and so hate filled that I lashed out at anyone who crossed me. I know now that those people did not intend to make me mad, they did not purposely set out to make my life difficult. Since I can still project those feelings, I know I never want to feel that again. I may still feel hurt by others, and I still hate injustice, but the Spirit of God is in me now, and how I react is how He would have me react. It is by no means a done deal. I still can get angry and frustrated, but how I handle it reflects Christ in my life.

God has been impressing on me a lot lately that I need to really realize that I need to love even my enemies, and that includes enemies of my country, my city, and my neighborhood. That is so hard for my human skin form because it goes against what that skin, and the world tells us. Jesus died on a cross for me, my family, my friends, neighbors, and even my enemies. Jesus died for the lost, the angry, the violent, the evil, and the bullies of this world. He keeps showing me that it is because they are lost, just as I was, that they act with anger, violence, and immorality. I have been trying to pray for the lost. I can't change them, I can't let myself get upset by their actions. I can pray they find Jesus, and that their lives are turned around just as mine was.

I am also praying that parents and teachers can teach children to respect others, and to learn to take responsibility for their actions. When I grew up in the 40s and 50s, we were taught that grown ups, and police, teachers, parents had authority over us, and our job was to respect that, and obey. We didn't always like it, and in small ways we rebelled, but we also knew that disobedience came with swift and sometimes heavy consequences. Most of us were not willing to cross that line. We got in trouble sometimes, but we knew if we got caught, it would be dealt with. No one worried about our sensitive feelings, or how fair it was. Right was right, and wrong is wrong! Children are naturally self-centered, so teaching them God's word, respect for others, including all living things, is vital. If disrespect and hate is the legacy left, it will be the legacy passed on. If left unchecked, each generation becomes more resistant to the rules. Following Jesus is the first step to putting theses values back into America's framework. Matthew 7:12 says to treat others as we want to be treated. If we are going to teach it, we had better be living it! God's values are always applicable. Our job is to know Him, know His word, apply it, and pass it on, the next time you hear about someone doing something mean,nasty,  or violent....hard as it is! PRAY for them, and know they are lost. What they need is Jesus as their Lord and Savior!

What God Puts Together,

Little girls dream of that special day when they walk down the aisle to be joined with the man of their dreams on their Wedding Day. As little girls, in our innocence we focus on a beautiful dress, the best vail, flowers, and a three tier cake. We give very little thought to the ceremony, or the vows we will take, and the man of our dreams is just that....a made up dream figure. As teens, we lose our hearts and our sanity on a regular basis, based on the cutest and most popular boys. When that first love truly hits us, we can't imagine anything better in our lives. Most times, first loves end, amid heartbreak. Through college and young adult life many dates may come and go, but if God is allowed to be in charge, our perfect mate, soul mate, and best friend will come into our lives, and we are swept away with an unbelievable love.

God was truly in my husband John's and my meeting, and falling in love. In fact before we ever knew each other, God crossed our paths. When I was in fifth grade in Sioux City, Iowa, my class was the first to inhabit the new school two blocks from my house. For that first year our class and the sixth grade from our old school were moved to the new one. That summer they had a day long playground camp at the new school. There were games, crafts, and lots of activities for the neighborhood. John and I attended that summer camp at the same time, and never knew it. It was the only year the school did this. My house was on a street that had an alley behind it, and the other street that backed up to it, was where John's cousins lived. While he visited them we were only one block apart in addition to being on the same playground.

The next connection we had was through one of his good friends in Omaha. He spent time with her and her family while his mother worked near their house. As a result he met her older brother, and the young lady he was going to marry. This young woman would turn out to be my sister. I was adopted, and when I found my birth family, John and I discovered this connection! God had ordained that we be together from before we were born. Because we humans don't automatically know God personally, until we choose to accept Him as Lord and Savior, we sometimes take many paths out of the way of His path for us. That's what I did. For years I went my way, but God is God, and His plan would prevail even if it took awhile. I am so grateful that it finally happened!

From the first time I met John, I was not interested, but he was persistent. Once God stepped in and we went out. It was obvious we were a matched set. Those who know John, know his unique humor, and his heart for people. After our first date, I knew he was special. We talked for hours, we laughed, and enjoyed being together. In three months time, we were engaged! He even got down on one knee to propose. I have to admit that I then panicked and wasn't sure I was doing the right thing. Again God was in control, even though I did not know Him at the time. I never told John how scared I was, because I figured it would go away and I really loved him. I remember we went to a movie with Gene Wilder, which we both loved because of the wacky humor that appeals to us both. The theme song was Taking A Chance On Love. It hit me then and there that this was the right step to take, and I have never regretted it for a minute. Now that I know God, I know He will use even a popular movie and song to relay His plans to us.

Through our years together, we have grown, we have learned what marriage looks like, and we have had so many special times together. Many Anniversaries, we have chosen to eat a quiet dinner at home, we don't need cards, flowers, or gifts, or romantic dinners. Those are nice when they happen, but it is the day to day that matters. We have each other, our family, and friends, but most of all we share the love of Jesus in our lives. We have learned to be content, and to know what is important. Humor has always been a big part, so we laugh often in a day, we enjoy just being together, we care about each other, and we always say "I Love You," many times a day. There have been sad times, bad times, and yet, God brings us through, and even closer knit than we were before. We are in between our Silver Anniversary and our Golden, and each day is a blessing, and a treasured memory!

I Am A Princess!

Insecure, desperate to please, and convinced I had no worth. Does any of that sound familiar to you? I pray it does not. I don't recall when I first felt so short of the mark, but I do know it has been a long, heartbreaking journey.  The first time I tried to help mother with canning peaches, I was seven. Mother was an expert at everything she did, so she assumed if she told me, I would have the same skills. She desperately wanted me to be an exact image of her. Since I was adopted, I had none of her genes to fall back on....I was just me.  She could peel an apple or a peach so skillfully there was only the thinnest skin that came off. Never, ever was there any meat of the fruit attached. I on the other hand got more of the fruit with the skin than was acceptable. To this day, I can not peel anything thinly. Mother could not understand what was wrong with me, never mind a little credit for trying.

She started me ironing early too with napkins, pillow cases, and sheets. Again perfection was the only standard. I tried, but I never was perfect. Maybe that's why I hate ironing today. I did get better, but I am still far from perfect. Cleaning, vacuuming, or washing dishes, I was never good enough. I was always told that some part was not right, no matter how hard I tried. I don't know how my mother got perfect in her house wife chores, but she never stopped working. I think maybe she was insecure herself, and these were things she could do well. That's great, but it hurt to always hear how lacking I was. Her favorite phrase throughout my life was, "I would never do that." Or she would say, "Why can't you do things like I do?" I grew up thinking I was useless, and that I could never do anything right, no matter what.

Friends were another source of dissension. I picked friends that were a lot like me...ordinary people. We had fun together, and we liked the same things. I didn't have to pretend with them, I could just be me. Mother didn't think they were good enough. They were alright, but she would have chosen friends for their money, their social status, and their looks. It made me sad, and I felt so alone sometimes. I longed to be accepted for who I was. It made me very awkward around people, because I had to always be mother's creation. No matter where we were or who we were with, mother talked for me. "Carolyn likes.....or Carolyn thinks...." She put words in my mouth, and told me what to like, or not like. I don't know if she really knew what she was doing, but she so wanted a clone of herself.

When I accepted Jesus as my Savior, slowly, but daily, He has molded me into what He wanted me to be from the moment He planned me. It has been a very long, hard road, but slowly, I learned that I am of worth. God chose me before creation to be His Princess. He waited for years and years for me to come to Him, and develop a relationship with Him. He never gave up on me! He made me His daughter, a princess of the King. He has taught me that He designed me, He fashioned me heart, body, and soul so I could be His child for eternity! Ever so slowly, Christ has taught me that I don't have to fit in, I don't have to be like anyone else! I have been wonderfully made so I can reach others and turn them to my Savior. I am still insecure sometimes, and sometimes I don't think I measure up, but those are the world's standards. As long as I follow God's word, and let Him lead me, I have all the worth and value, He deems necessary. Jesus gives me all I need to walk in confidence. I am His princess. I have long since settled things with my mother. I can see now through God's eyes how sad, and insecure she was. She bluffed her way through with money, prestige in the community, and processions. She accepted Jesus as her Savior three years before her death, but sadly too late to enjoy truly being a princess. For now God is taking my failures,successes , tears, and joys, and putting them in a wonderful harmony to do His work here. The greatest thing God has taught me through this journey, is I don't have to hide my hurt from Him, I don't have to be what I was not meant to be. Hand in hand, He leads me, and when I walk into the heavenly realm one day, I will be wholly, and completely what God had for me before time began!

The "C" Word

Cancer is a disease I don't remember being aware of until the early 70s, when a friend had bone cancer. I watched him become less and less active, and finally he could no longer leave his bed. The disease left him incredibly thin, and any movement at all broke the bones in his body. I can not imagine the pain he must have endured. It was a time when research and treatment was not as advanced as it is now. At the time I became terrified of getting cancer. The next time this disease reared it's head was with my own father. I had come to know The Lord as my Savior,by then, so cancer or any disease no longer held the same fear for me. My Dad was in the hospital for a biopsy, and he called early one morning to tell Me it was prostate cancer. He wanted to tell me first, so I could help soften the blow for my mother. My Dad had surgery, and it was completely successful! He never had a reoccurrence.

The very word cancer, has always been a word no one wants to hear from their doctor, and yet as it has become more prevalent in our world, it seems to have touched almost everyone I know. If caught early, chances are good that it is contained, and further treatment is not needed. Others are not able to be in remission without chemo and radiation. One friend battled colon cancer for years. He tried all kinds of things besides chemo, like nutrition and succeeded in fighting the fight for many years. In that time, he never missed work, and kept going. Another friend I had when we moved to Bellevue, was battling cancer when I met her. She often did not feel like driving, so I took her to her doctor, to chemo, and radiation. Chemo took several hours each time, and I went in and sat with her while she was there. As I sat in a large room at Methodist, there were multiple chairs, each with a patient waiting while the chemicals flowed through their bodies. What I learned was the incredible bravery of these people. I know they were in pain, the chemo made them sick, yet they smiled, visited, knitted, and read. Other than the ports, and tubes, and IV bags, you would not have known their misery. I remember one young wife who was there for the first time. She was the only one who still had long thick hair. She was scared, yet showed her brave, sweet side. I found out she was a believer in Jesus, so we shared some prayer time. I came away vowing that if I ever got cancer, I would pray to be as brave as she was.

Cancer does run in some families, and then again can attack with no previous history.

It is no respecter of race, religion, male, or female. It doesn't care of you are rich, poor, celebrity, or not. What I know is, everyone I have known has fought back with dignity, bravery, and confidence that they would be better. I no longer fear this disease, because I trust Jesus to be in charge. I know that the inner strength comes from Him, and I know that I have a network of family and friends behind me. My prayer is that I would be as brave as all those I have known. I sat in the hospital yesterday as another friend starts this journey. She will be no less brave.

One thing about this dreaded word is that it not only plays no favorites, it comes and goes. Some, like my Dad had a one time encounter, and never again. My sister had a one time encounter, and never again. Others, can be in remission for years, but it can return in another area unannounced. For them, each time a spot is found, or something isn't right, it is a trauma of "is it back?"  I praise God that research and treatment has been ongoing, and has come so far. Most of all, I praise God that He and He alone is the ultimate healer. If you, a friend, or loved one has been or is now on this journey, I pray that the great physician and healer, Jesus, is in charge and that you can trust Him for the outcome.... But the "C" word is still scary, and probably always will be. 

Childhood cancer is for me the saddest. These children at various ages have to endure the pain, the sickness of chemo, and the life of doctors, hospitals, needles, and fear, for something they probably don't understand. Again, these littlest patients have that same bravery and fighting spirit. What it all comes down to, for me, is a tremendous respect, and being totally in awe of anyone who has to go through this. What an inspiration all cancer patients are to the rest of us. No one will ever know their struggles, but them, because it is the bravery and courage we are left with!