I always felt I was an embarrassment. I didn't belong, and even what I thought was my best was a let down for others. I was weak, flawed, and no matter what, I couldn't see beyond my flaws. Sometimes all we are able to see is the rubble of our lives.
Because of my view, I saw myself as a detriment to ministry. I finally let God teach me, and show me that He could and would use me for His Kingdom. My flaws were what Christ saw and used to reach others who may feel the same way. My brokenness was the bridge others needed. What Jesus taught me over the years, I could use to minister to the hurting.
Christ graciously equipped me with compassion, and empathy. Now the problem with empathy is that whatever hurts others hurts me. It is hard to carry the pain of others', but that is what God has equipped me for. Sometimes, I want so much to help and make it better, I try to run ahead, and lose track of the fact that it is not me, it is Christ in me. It doesn't depend on me.
I want so badly to make everything O.K. That I falsely think it is up to me. Another thing learned, but sometimes forgotten. God is in control! I am nothing on my own, but it is Jesus in me that can help another. When I fall on my face, I need to let Him help me up! I can be there for others who have horrible problems, who are in impossible situations, but it is Jesus who can make a difference. If I give Him my broken pieces...ALL the pieces, He will make a way. He will mold me into what He wants me to be.
In some ways 2015 was a rough year, but God was always ahead of us. He already knew what was needed and He supplied in His own time, in His own way. How will I live this new year ahead? How will you? I will continue to learn at the Master's feet! The more I know Him, the more I love Him! I have learned that everything is in His mighty power to make right. I have learned that no matter what things look like, I can trust God to take care of it. I don't need to fix things. That is His job.
I can't convince others that Christ is the only way, but Christ can. I can't change the course of our country, but Christ can. I can't solve everyone's problems. I can't change the course some people take, but Christ can. Maybe you are feeling hopeless, defeated, sad, powerless, but as Jesus said to the man waiting for rescue n John 5:6, "Do you want to be well?"
As for me I will rise up and live what I believe. I will believe that with Jesus, there is hope for any situation, no matter how it looks. I lived too long as a victim of my past.This year I will live my glorious future, whatever that looks like as one saved by God's grace.