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Monday, December 28, 2015

Addicted!

I can very easily become addicted to things. An addiction is defined as anything one needs on a regular basis, and can not live without. Some addictions are not as bad as others, but when I focus on what I want, it is rarely a good thing. There are the obvious addictions. My first was smoking. Once I started, it became a most enjoyable part of my life. Quitting didn't work, because I didn't want to quit.
Without this "friend," I was crabby, and not nearly as sociable.

Smoking was part of my identity. Next, was drinking. Granted, I didn't do it all the time, but It too was part of my life. I felt very with it, and in charge while drinking. You would think that once you went through being sick and hung over, that would end it. No. I enjoyed the status of having drinks with friends, or at dinner.

It is easy for me to become addicted to food too. When I find something that I love, it becomes part of the joy of eating. Snacks are special culprits. What happens in forming an addiction? It is forming the habit of something that becomes a part of your life. Even the thought of doing without Spurs you to hang on to it even harder!

I have at times, become addicted to T.V. For a time I had to watch movies everyday on the Lifetime Channel. I planned my day around it. I let Bible study slide, I didn't take time for prayer, I didn't do ministry, because I was too preoccupied with trivial pursuit. The more I did this day after day, the more miserable I became! Like any of my addictions, I had to finally turn it over to The Lord, and let Him be in charge! Once I got to the desperate point, I let go, and fought to get free!

In each case, I could not fight it alone. I am human, I am weak. Some addictions in life, are even harder to dislodge. People use all kinds of things to heal their wounded, fragile, souls! Whether it is food, drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, or even T.V., we all at one time or another grasp something to make us feel better about ourselves. I know that I was insecure, and had a very low self-image. The way I learned to cope was to hold a drink, a cigarette, or dress to get attention. In that world I created, I could feel adequate. I could feel better and appear better than I was. 

I am not proud of how messed up I was. I am extremely grateful that Jesus saw me in all my ugliness, and false identity, and loved me enough not to leave me there! Once I met Jesus, and gave my life to Him, He changed my heart, and let me see that I didn't need the garbage to be accepted. Did it happen overnight? No, it has been a journey! God has patiently walked me through the past, and helped me deal with each part of my life. He has shown me who I am in Him! 

I must tell you I am not totally there yet! I can still very easily get addicted to things like sweets, and T.V.
But, it is short lived. God lovingly shows me what I am doing, and helps me to go a different direction. I am so thankful I can lean on Him. Nothing is too messed up, or too difficult for Him! It is choices! He will guide and direct you, but you still have a choice! Do you know what your addictions are? Maybe you don't have any. But if you do....Jesus can and will help....just ask Him! I am so glad I did!