What Might Have Been

Do you ever play the what if game? You know, what if I had been taller, prettier, richer, or smarter? I don't spend a lot of time there, because God has blessed me with a wonderful life! Sounds like a movie title, doesn't it? There are, however a few things I have wondered "what if?" I wonder what I would have done with my life if I had been encouraged to do what I really wanted to do. I wanted either to be a nurse or a Veternarian. I had no self confidence, so both seemed out of my realm of intelligence. I was convinced I was not smart enough to get through the schooling. No one told me any different.

I have also wondered what if I had pursued my other passion, writing from an earlier age. Would I have been a greatly published author? Would I have written into others' lives with wisdom and compassion? Once again, I didn't think I stood a chance. I was an avid reader from an early age. I lived in the lives of the characters I met. How could I have enough talent to compare to the authors I read. They were wonderful...I was not. No one told me I could.

I was a lonely little girl, so I lived in a world of my imagination. I also lived in a world, where I was convinced I was not good at anything. I had talents, but never as good as someone else. I got lost in the shuffle. What if I had grown up as someone else's' child? Would they have told me I was enough, that I could do anything I set my mind to? No one told me About that other family.

When I met Jesus and accepted Him as my Savior, Lord, and friend, He told me a lot about me. I am still learning. My husband also has my back. He encourages me, and God has used him to restore my worth.  When Jesus gave me back to my birth family in 2000, I learned even more. I learned that they were very different from my adopted family. So I went down the what if road once again.

I know I wouldn't have been a lonely child, because there were seven others. I wonder what it would have been like to have big sisters and brothers to watch out for me. Again God has shown me I am very much a product of that family in a big way, but also a part of me is what my growing up environment gave me. In my case I needed both to become what God intended.

I still wonder what if sometimes, but I am so blessed with what God has done in my life. I have a big family filled with love and support, and prayers whenever it's needed. My love for animals and the medical field never went away. So God has given me a voice for abused animals, He has given us sweet pets for me to love and care for. Medically I have been blessed to nurse family through tough times. I have read a lot, so the basic medical terms are understandable when one of us goes to the doctor. I am able to visit others in the hospital and relate to what they are dealing with. 

The biggest what if is now a reality. God gave me the opportunity to complete a three year writing course, to become a columnist, a free lance writer for newspapers and publications. And I wrote a book, and became a published author. He gave me a Blog to share encouragement with others. Am I as good as other authors, no. Am I everything I what if

dreamed about, not exactly. God knew my heart, my dreams, and He worked them into my life. He is in charge, and He has given me peace. Now if I "What If", it's just for fun, and not because I wish I were different. What if my life was blessed beyond words?   Well....It Is!