Anytime you join a man and a woman into one family unit, ask them to live for each other, only, and ask them to live together until death, you have two people with different ways, different attitudes, and different goals. If they are committed to each other, their years together are a constant blending, giving, taking, and giving yet again.
I was excited when my husband John proposed to me. We had only been dating about three months, but we knew we were a match. Then I had a moment of panic. Did I really want to do this? Then of all things, we went to a Gene Wilder movie, and the movies's song was, "Taking A Chance On Love Again." It was all I needed, and I knew this was right. We will celebrate our 37th anniversary in September.
Has our marriage always been perfect, joyful, and without strife? No! At first, we seemed at times to be on two different pages. We have learned that men and women really do think differently about things, and the way they should be done. It doesn't mean either are wrong, just different. Words can be said in one way, and heard in a different way. Once God became the head of our house, we worked through a lot of conflict!
We have learned several lessons. Respect each other's ideas. I may think some of my husband's actions, likes, and dislikes are silly and unimportant, but I do not tell him that. I live with those quirks. I have ideas and actions that he thinks are silly, but those are my quirks. There is nothing so hurtful, than to have your best friend make you think something you like is stupid.
Always be there with your physical, emotional, and spiritual support. It's important to know you can count on each other when you are hurting, facing a problem, or have a conflict. It is those times, we put our own needs on the back burner, and let your spouse have priority. This is where you practice give and take. God will sometimes give you mutual issues, to work through together, but more often, one spouse is down when the other is up. When your spouse is having a bad day, or a bad season, be there for them 100%.
Laugh together, always, and often! John and I have been given similar humor. We like to watch comedy, and often, we can quote something funny from a show or movie, and get the other to laugh as hard as when we saw it the first time. We have each done such silly things in our years together, and it has given us a lot of laughs, and fun together.
Choose your battles! Your spouse will sometimes do things you really hate. If they aren't major, if they can be ignored and not hurt anyone....LET THEM GO! Sometimes you will do something, and again, hopefully your spouse will let it go. Not everything is worth a battle. Always, always ask for forgiveness, and give forgiveness when needed!
Be patient, be kind, think no evil. Put aside your ego, your wants, focus on your spouse! Love as God our Father loves us. This is God's standard. He planned from the beginning, for one man, Adam, and one woman, Eve, to live together, share everything, and to put God first ! We know they blew it, but if we put God at the top of our marriage triangle, watch what happens. I am on one corner, John is on the opposite corner. As we grow, working up each side of the triangle, do you see what happens? We grow closer, and closer to God at the top.
If we let Him, He will guide and direct our marriage. He will be in the very midst of all we do. Growing and learning together with Him, has given us a beautiful relationship! We have been through a lot including, laughter, tears, hurts, and set backs, but God has brought us through! I love my husband more today than when I married him. We are a pair. In God's infinite wisdom, He paired a man and a woman with similarities,and some differences, who would compliment each other. What one is strong in, the other is strong somewhere else. We were meant to be together of that I am sure.
In this day when same sex marriage is popular, I am sorry they have been mislead into that. They are missing so much. God's plan is the perfect plan, and we were designed for a man and a woman to compliment and blend as one. Anything else is one of satan's lies. I am not judging, but simply sharing what God has taught me, and what He has given us! My best friend, John is my first, and best love!
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